My application for death

I recently applied for euthanasia in Switzerland. Here's what I told them.

I like Pegasos for its belief that it's the human right of every rational adult of sound mind, regardless of state of health, to choose the manner and timing of their death, and its promotion of self-determination around the world. I reached out in 2021 to offer help through volunteering but was told that there weren't any such opportunities. I have been a donor since early 2025.

Other people have abused me for many years. I would like to share the story. Sharing my unique and incredible experiences, and having someone at Pegasos genuinely interested in them, would be an amazing gift as I approach passing on.

My father abused me for more than ten years to control and manipulate me, starting in my early teens. To abuse me, he would scream "Momma!" and "Rama!" as well as belch in an exaggerated way. When he does this, I feel a shocking sensation in my chest, and my body goes into a fight-or-flight mode. He timed these occurrences whenever I did something he didn't like, and sometimes randomly to have fun at my expense by observing its effect on me.

Sometimes I would mock him to express how stupid or disgusting I thought it was. My mother also tried to get him to stop by yelling his name when he did this, because she was also aware it hurt me.

After years of this abuse, I began to hear sounds in my mind of him doing this even without the external stimuli. When I hear these sounds in my mind, I feel dissatisfied and to try to feel satisfaction, I mock the sounds I hear in my mind out loud. To feel more satisfied, I am able to watch violent videos and hear the violent sounds which bring me feelings of relief because they make me feel more powerful and in control. To be clear, I don't actually like the violence, but it's what works for me.

This may be considered "misophonia" but my case is extreme due to mental impacts.

This childhood experience led to debilitating second and third-order impacts. While it was happening, my Dad was using the lord's name in vain. And as a stupid teen hurt by this, I made offensive jokes using the lord's name in vain on a phone line. I believe this caused a US government agency to monitor me.

The abuse from my father led to unusual sexual desires because of the power difference, bullying, and its impact on my self-worth. As an eighteen year old, I began seeking safety among strangers I met online on various alternative dating apps, acting as my 'mother and father.' I could not see myself telling others in my life and wanted to get away from everyone forever. During this time, I sent emails with photos of my body.

The abuse continued in my college years. At that time my father really wanted me to become a "product manager" and "leader" in technology, specifically at Google where he was employed. He abused me to try to control my behavior. My goal was to make enough money to cut contact with him forever, or to please him to get the abuse to stop. I sought a job with the title Product Manager, accepted an internship at a company, then accepted a full-time offer with the company with the title Product Manager. The company is an industry-leader in trading software for derivatives and cryptocurrency.

In college, I also started a cryptocurrency education program at University of Michigan that became successful. Michigan is known for 'leadership,' and my strategy for the organization's success was to say it was about 'creating leaders in blockchain.' The university featured me in the school magazine. I went to a conference with the intention to meet a woman, Linda Xie. I'd been following Linda for a year on social media. I did not intend to meet her for the same reasons I met people through alternative dating apps.

We never spoke with each other before the conference, however during introductions, Linda and I found out we both went to the same high school and had the same teachers including Brian Ladd and Stacey Sklar, who taught a nationally ranked competitive civics program that I was part of. She is 8 years older than me and married to her husband, Will Warren. Before then, I also read Will's crypto startup's mission and values document, which resonated with me. Ironically, one part of the mission was about expanding opportunity beyond the San Francisco Bay Area where Linda and I grew up.

On the day that I went to the conference, my parents told me that my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and that they would be leaving the US.

After graduating, I had surgery and traveled. My paternal grandmother had a serious fire accident which led to her passing away, so I visited India for death ceremonies. I went to an event in San Francisco held by Will's startup. They were not there, however Will's Co-CEO was speaking. There, I asked a 'why' question which appeared to point out a scam in their business. My intention was not to expose a scam, but it was likely perceived that way.

I started my first job. The business world was aware that something was wrong in my childhood. They sought to exploit me. The management tried to cause a reaction in me by having a middle manager scare me and gaslight me when I didn't pursue one of my coworkers, Iris Farbstein. I suspect they wanted the middle manager, Bernie Schwartz, to play the "father role" trying to spark a reaction in me, and then have me go to Iris for comfort. It was unusually performative.

During this time, my parents sold their house in California, and moved to India to support my ill grandmother.

As I was bullied, I sought to get out of the situation. Iris said she was giving me "special attention." She was upset that I was working on a top priority project at the company with the senior leadership, and not sharing the opportunity with her. Bernie was gaslighting me and bullying me in front of others, such as by barking my name in the office for me to run up and attend to him, or by trying to confuse me in 1:1 conversations. I was then by Bernie told that I didn't get along with the female coworker. In a different setting. she began cursing at me in a meeting. I then spoke with my manager, Andy Senesac, who said if there were a recording then he'd be supportive of me. I shared details with HR, suggested the meetings could be recorded, and I was quickly removed from chat channels and transferred out of the team. The experience left me a lack of psychological safety and I experienced tension headaches for the first time in my life, which I interpreted as misery.

On a Friday as COVID was beginning, I had a notable interaction where the person who hired me, Jason Shaffer, acted angry and said "See you on Monday." I replied that actually I'd be working from home, to which he replied in a relieved tone "yeah work from home." Until the following Friday, nobody was asked to work from home instead of in the office. I emailed the CEO, Rick Lane, on a Thursday night asking "why not recommend work from home to reduce the health risk?" He replied in a minute that I'll see an announcement very soon, the next day people were asked to work from home, and the following Monday I was laid off by Jason and the Chief Legal Officer, Mike Ryan. Mike said it was very personal for me and got me to sign something that prevented lawsuits for wrongdoing.

I was very unhappy at this time, and was hoping to pass away with COVID.

It became apparent that people were monitoring my devices. I was alone in a new city without family in the country after a company had just laid me off. My private chats and emails were read by cryptocurrency industry professionals and mocked publicly on social media. I tested this by starting a Whatsapp chat with my mother, then removing my mother, and typing into it "don't you have anything better to do?" This was not received well. In my next call with my father, he angrily mocked me saying "Don't you have anything better to do?" and later replied in a relieved tone that Whatsapp chats are encrypted, acting as if my chats were not read.

I also began to see people in dreams, notably Linda, the woman I met at a conference dressed in a fairy costume, who said "we don't make fun of our feelings." I believe Linda also suggested that we were 'best friends forever' or 'BFFs' by typing on my phone as I was messaging my mother.

During this time, I was advised to look at a crypto company's newsletter where every day they would reply with quotes responding to what I was doing that day. My first company and that crypto company, Kraken, were in contact, and that Kraken's CEO Jesse Powell was a member of the gaming community I was involved in high school. One thing to know about cryptocurrency is that some industry leaders came from a gaming background where people exchange game currency for real money (bitcoin or other cryptocurrencies). In some sense, they were looking out for me.

As I was thinking about career opportunities, I almost jokingly told my mother on my personal phone over Signal that "I could be a benevolent dictator." I did not mean this however I suspect it was taken somewhat seriously by others monitoring my devices.

During this time, my father was abusive and rude towards me. He would also confuse me, for example, he said 'forget about the company, you were just scanning emails' to downplay the company, the next day he would say 'I never said forget about the company, they're paying you.' He mocked me on my achievements and explained that he was bullied at Google and asked "how would you feel if..." the bullying he experience happened to me. This added to my distress.

I was watching videos that encouraged people to speak up for themselves and tell the truth. I revealed to my maternal grandfather over Whatsapp that my father abused me and I hear sounds in my mind of the abuse. This was not received well. My mother told me that my grandfather didn't feel good about it, and my father acted angrily and said just because someone's offended you, you don't tell their manager (as if my maternal grandfather was my father's manager). My maternal grandfather then told me that your parents are telling you what's best for you, as if it were about them scolding me, and I played along as if that were true.

During this time, Linda began publicly mocking the chats I had in high school with girls like herself. I did not like that this was happening. I sought to fool the people who were monitoring my devices. I began typing 'stop watching me' in my laptop's browser's search bar. I then opened an app, Notion, and typed nonsense to confuse people. I typed 'will altruism save us' and then typed a quote from the science fiction movie Inception 'how do I know you can deliver' and pasted these multiple times. At this time, it was COVID and there was uncertainty about the danger. People speculated about going to heaven after passing away. I was just interested in confusing them so they'd stop monitoring my devices. For the next few months, I would see an emoji a day for my daily blog on Notion. The emoji usually related to what I did the previous day.

People would post on Twitter about what I wrote in my personal computer's Notion app. For example, I wrote 'my dream' was to go to Harvard or Stanford for business school on a scholarship. When I wrote 'nothing in particular,' Will and Linda posted an image of a magician's wand on the floor suggesting that when there is no dream the wand is dropped and there is no magic.

Another way I sought to fool them was unusual: I pretended to watch "hypnosis pornography" on my mobile device, knowing that they would observe. Another crypto industry professional, Balaji Srinivasan, posted about me doing this on Twitter.

I decided to apply for business school, applying to Harvard which required a letter of recommendation. I spoke with Jason and a mentor to get recommendations. At this time, I did not hold Jason accountable for an obvious management mistake where he knew that I should work from home, but exposed my coworkers to COVID health risk. My father appeared to be in touch with Jason, as he began making excuses without me asking about it. He told me that Jason was busy with his children so that's why the company wasn't told to work from home. I did not hold Jason accountable, but I did reach out and say that I wanted to see a message from Bernie which would put my mind at ease, since Bernie was the bully. Jason and HR told me that Bernie was following their own recommendations. At which point, I praised the business leadership of all the managers hoping to get a positive recommendation for business school.

Time went on and my employment with the first company ended. I moved to a new city where I knew nobody. There was a problem with a roommate where we each wanted to prove our communication skills to each other. He had smoked marijuana in the apartment, it was pungent, I reported it to the landlord, and he did not receive that well. A few weeks later, during the American Thanksgiving holiday, at nighttime someone came to the door asking for that roommate. There was a gunshot reported. The police arrived, took everyone out of the apartment at gunpoint (including me), and arrested that roommate after a firearm was found. For someone who grew up in a nice town, this was an extremely unusual and distressing experience.

I then moved to my family friend uncle's house. I was told by my mother that I could come and go there as I please. This was during COVID and they were understandably confused about me visiting on short notice. I stayed there for 6 months applying to jobs. During this time, I felt miserable because I was hearing the sounds in my mind. I applied to many jobs and got no traction. I was also upset with Linda. I emailed her a 'why' question she did not like to see, and blocked her on Twitter, which frustrated her. I later learned that this question exposed tax evasion.

Hearing the sounds in my mind with no relief made me feel like I was slowly dying. I had painful tension headaches. I pleaded with my father over Whatsapp to help me end my life. I wanted access to Exit International's Peaceful Pill handbook so I could source pentobarbital. I needed his passport to purchase the book because they check if you're over 50. My father showed resistance in many different ways. I explained to him that his abuse caused me mental problems where I hear the sounds in my mind. Over Signal, he finally said he would respect me. Then I revealed to him my thinking with 5-10 reasons, including many of our family friends telling me they hated their jobs, people bullying me in the workplace, rich people (crypto industry professionals) targeting me, Michigan teachers and alumni telling me I wasn't raised well, and bodies ultimately deteriorating over time anyway. One more reason that stuck with everyone, is that in a civic leadership institute hosted at UC Berkeley, I worked with people experiencing homelessness. I told my father that it can be very hard to recover from that, so the poison could be perceived as a backup. I also told them that by taking the poison, it felt like I was taking care of myself. He sent me his passport so I could buy the book. Around this time, I contacted Pegasos as well.

I interviewed with Google for a product marketing rotational program and received an offer in the middle of 2021. I had just moved to Ann Arbor, Michigan. At some point during that time, I played the song "Hypnotize" by Notorious B.I.G. with a search term "unexpected thug life" on YouTube. It was a reference to a Michigan alumnus' blog post, who was also in the school magazine. He compared crypto rivalries to the rap rivalry between American artists Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. This was my way of fooling the people monitoring my devices. They did not like being fooled, at which point Balaji posted "Let them die!" referring to me.

Unfortunately, on my first day at Google, things started off poorly. I spoke clearly and well, which led one of the middle managers, Laura Willis, saying 'way to set the bar high on a Monday.' Things escalated and HR began to contact me. Given my past experience with HR at the first company, I was concerned about speaking with them. I spoke with Laura who made the comment. She said something like since she has a life she didn't have time to manage everyone. I suspect that my actual manager, Mike Fyall, told Laura to onboard me, as he also did not put in effort into my onboarding document.

As HR continued to email me, I became miserable again. I emailed them with the quote from Laura, and maybe because I'm young and well-spoken someone feels threatened, and that generally when there is a conflict, HR conducts a character assassination. Eventually I forwarded the thread to Mike, who told me he was cognizant his time is limited and that he'd make time for me. It became clear to me that he'd told Laura to do something that would have been his responsibility otherwise. Then we spoke with HR where he played down the event so they dropped it.

While all this was going on, I purchased pentobarbital and planned to end my life. People were bullying me wherever I went, at home and at work. I was experiencing unbearable tension headaches.

The cryptocurrency industry professionals were aware and dissatisfied that I fooled them. After some back-and-forth, one of the founders at Coinbase named Fred Ehrsam, who supported Linda in her career, sent me death threats. He posted on Twitter "the world is highly malleable, always follow your curiosity, never stop asking why" as a subtle way to get me to stop asking why. I visited my blood aunt and uncle in Michigan, Swati and Dilip Dakwale, where they made it clear that the crypto industry professionals didn't like me asking 'why', and subtly suggested it may lead to them killing me.

Months later, Mike at Google also fooled me about the projects I'd work on. At my first performance review that December, he said that the initial days were a setback because I challenged the company. He moved me to another middle manager, Christopher Katsaros, under him. Eventually Christopher gave me a bad performance review designed to lay off the employee. I pushed back during this time, at the advice of Mike.

Throughout the employment at Google, many unusual things happened to me. Linda and other crypto industry professionals had continued to follow me in my new job. On my computer, when I started typing in Gmail, I saw them typing something like "I want that Alameda condo," and copy-pasting that in the same way I had the quotes from Inception. I suspect this is because they assumed without a place to stay, I would end my life using the pentobarbital. The idea around euthanizing homeless people stuck and my old neighborhood group, such as the realtor Varsha Upadhye, began to joke about me 'taking care of myself' by ending my life.

During this time, I also apologized to Linda through email. For some reason, this caused a power shift and I felt strong vibrations on my lips. I then had a dream where I handed Linda a champagne glass as if to fill the glass with champagne, then she urinated in it, and handed it back as if it were champagne, and I drank it. In the cryptocurrency industry, the leaders take delight in fooling other people so this was her way of doing that. Somehow, people were aware of the dream and began talking about it.

The crypto industry professionals (or potentially Google) planted things for me to see during my day-to-day life. Most of this is contextual based on what they believed about me. For example, a white corvette with the license plate "lostboy" where the t is a cross, because I once told a schoolfriend that the corvette was my favorite car and because I typed nonsense into my computer 'will altruism save us?' to which people speculated about heaven. I had met that schoolfriend, Sreyash Dasari, whose parents are wealthy and connected to the crypto ecosystem, at which point he spoke with pride about the gossip happening, called me a dog, and was then called by his father Prasad and reprimanded for drinking and driving. Prasad also noted that I was talking nonsense (he meant that on my personal computer I was typing nonsense to confuse people, but my actual talking was normal).

They also planted a man dressed as a clown looking sad sitting on a pillar on the sidewalk, a reference to me being a 'joker.' They also planted a man with a suitcase that looked like mine. I saw this man twice. Once, he approached me at a bus stop, saying he was a homeless lawyer, and suggested a corporate settlement as a solution with the first company. I shrugged this off and on a later date saw him dressed in a fairy costume opening the suitcase in a Google parking lot as he shouted "Nach!" I believe this is because I once brought my suitcase to the office and left it there as I was moving from one Airbnb to another, and getting a new rental car.

In my waking hours, a different man, who I suspect was the woman's friend because she once posted a picture of him and his dog, then drove near me while I was talking a walk. He screamed something that sounded like a different YouTube video I played, which was similar to the stupid jokes I made as a teen on the phone line. They were upset about the jokes I made by playing a YouTube video on my computer which they were monitoring. A few times, people also biked up to me or walked up to me and said "Boom." This was unsettling.

Interpreting this, I drove 8 hours to visit an old classmate, Patrick Wu, who was one of the people on the other end of the phone line when I made these offensive jokes. I told him that when you're making a joke, people need to feel safe. That night as I was sleeping, I felt a strong punch to my abdomen with such force that it caused my body to move into the bed. During these drives, I would speak in the car (alone), and my coworkers would mock it to get attention for whatever they were doing.

Another thing that was unsettling was that on President's Day during my employment, I was poisoned. The previous night, I had a dream where I was sitting with a former classmate who went to Stanford, Janel Lee, where she said I could have gotten into Stanford myself if I worked hard. In my iPhone Notes app, I first typed a criticism about a photo Janel used, then deleted it and wrote it's a privilege to be in your thoughts and that it's amazing what can be achieved in 10-15 years.

However, I was still upset that people were monitoring my devices. I began typing (again in an attempt to get people to stop monitoring the devices) 'if you ain't white you ain't right' and entering that into my personal computer's search bar. To be clear, I don't actually believe that nor am I racist, but I really wanted people to stop monitoring my devices.

That night I went to a Japanese ramen restaurant, where the ramen tasted unusual and I was poisoned. I believe it was Linda and her husband who were responsible for the poisoning. Soon afterwards, I had nightmares of Will ringing a bell telling everyone "Nobody's home!" and shooting me. I suspect that the shooting dreams were because a year prior, while I was hearing the sounds in my mind, I had watched YouTube videos of South African hunters shooting baboons.

After fighting off the food poisoning, Linda and one of the leading investors in crypto industry, Marc Andreessen began to invade my dreams. It was shocking and intrusive. For a week in June 2021, Linda appeared in my dreams saying various things, and I would reply by typing into my Notes app. It became apparent that my tennis instructor was aware of this happening. I was told that 'best friends give recommendations' when they come to someone's city, referring to me moving to the bay area and the poisoning event.

The back-and-forth happened for a few days with Linda until, as a surprise Marc appeared in my dream. In the dream, Marc fooled my coworker into believing an idea was worth going into business over, knocked her into an office kitchen, and slapped her repeatedly. He then turned to face me, looking straight at me as if an actor in a movie were looking into the camera, and shouted he was curious what my goals actually were. This was extremely shocking and disturbing for me due to how realistic and sudden it felt. I wrote in my iPhone Notes app that I wanted to be a product manager, business school, and use my apps and devices privately without people monitoring.

I applied for new positions outside of Google. I got offers from a few companies, one of them was a product management position. I told my father that I would accept the product manager position at Capital One Financial Corporation. My father did not like this. He told me I'd make a lot more money at Google, and that I should ignore the performance ratings they'd given me. My plan was to become product manager at Capital One, then apply for Google for a product manager position. In any case, my father did not like this. When I reaffirmed that I would leave to pursue the product manager role, he again did what he could to hurt me, with pride, and emphatically said "BYE!" over the phone.

I moved thousands of miles across the country, close to where my brother lived, to start the new job. As I boarded my plane, I texted my brother asking if I could have him over for dinner. He replied "Do not contact me. Best of luck with everything! Cheers" as a mean comment about the urine drinking dream.

In my new job, it was apparent that my coworkers were aware of what was going on. I worked through projects for almost two years until eventually I wasn't promoted. I got bullied by a few coworkers, one of whom was clearly favored by the VP of the organization, Stephen Krieger. A few times, middle managers, such as Daniel Vollen, made comments about the poisoning referring to me as 'a crybaby eating a ramen bowl.' Throughout this time, Linda and her husband continued to appear in my dreams at various points in time. Once in my dream, I was asked if she could get me for five days a month, referring to a lifestyle goal I wrote on pen and paper while alone in my apartment, which I did not share with anyone.

It became clear that I wasn't respected despite my contributions and receiving multiple awards. Some of my coworkers in a different part of the organization suggested, without me complaining, that I should leave. I decided to apply for business school to Stanford and switched to a different part of the company where I was offered a position at a higher level. As I was leaving, the Stephen Krieger (the VP) appeared in my dream, as if he were a dictator, pointed to me, and said "You! Suck!" while pointing to male genitalia.

In the new part of the company, there was a reorganization, the management left within a month, and I was placed under a new manager, Cara Rawls. Cara treated me well and was generous with praise. Around this time, I received a rejection from Stanford. Weeks later, I was able to somehow perform telepathy with Linda. I thought a question before going to sleep, and received an answer almost immediately before going to sleep. I began to have many more dreams, much more frequently, of Linda and her husband. Like before, I responded through writing notes in my iPhone.

In the dreams, Linda mocked me a few times based on things I'd written to others years prior (that she observed by monitoring my devices). She made comments about sexual activity, saying I was on her Capital One bank account, having sex with me in a hotel room, then the two of them began to pretend like they'd help me. The husband said "this guy's a chick" referring to me though I am male and identify as male. I wrote in my Notes app that money is important to me, at which point Linda responded in a dream "well, I have 10,000 coins" and responded to ask for whatever you want, her being a drunk friend. I asked a list of questions, typing into my Notes app, one of which was if I could 10x (multiply) my money with cryptocurrency. In the next dream, Will suggested a crypto token for me to buy (JCM 'Just Call Me').

During this time, a Coinbase company recruiter, Adam Hahn, reached out to me but I was focused on becoming physically fit believing that finances were not a problem.

I left my job, against the warnings of my new manager Cara who made reference to "the fairy" and leaving "before the deal is done." Regardless, I believed that Will and Linda would help me. Instead, they spent more than six months harassing me through intrusive dreams and 'rickrolls,' fooling me over and over again. For example, they shared a different crypto token ticker and when I searched it online, it turned out to be a photo of male genitalia with an STD. They also hacked into my computer and began typing into it while I was building applications with artificial intelligence. For example, Linda wrote "Oh this whitecoat just came in my hands" making a crude reference to semen when I spoke about creatine, a medical supplement, in my apartment, alone.

I began building a 'prediction market app' which is a trend in the cryptocurrency industry, when I started having dreams where Linda and Marc appeared. Linda was doing back squats in a gym. In an unsettling way, Marc and I were in a meeting room with others where he looked me at me and said that if I was planning to take away from the promised goods of the world, 'don't bother meeting gym' referring to Linda at the gym.

In another instance, Linda typed into my computer "Don't bother about the butt. Thanks for listening. See you next week." referring to me taking photos of my body, on my mobile device, and not sharing with anyone, as I completed a physical training plan with a gym trainer. They did not like that I asked to make money, interpreting that as them giving me money, and wanted me to stop so she said thanks for listening. I did not send her any photos, but took photos of myself on my mobile device of my gym progress.

At some point, the Coinbase recruiter Adam reached out again. I had a dream where Linda said "she needed 400k for the bullying tactics" where 'she' refers to me (I am not a woman, I identify as male, but Linda bullies me often telling me I am a woman). A few days later, Adam told me in an interview that the position would pay $400k in total compensation. I did not pass the interview with the hiring manager, which didn't bother me, but Linda and Will continued to harass me. I eventually typed into my Notes app asking what they wanted out of the relationship, to which point I had a dream where they suggested I was not grown up, that I should come stay with them cleaning toilets and cooking meals, and learn from Will to see what he's doing. In the dream, Linda asked 'could I connect with you' understanding that my pride was in the connections I had with others. I replied in my Notes app that I was extremely interested, despite all the harassment, to which point the next dream Linda revealed she was "pulling the rug" or fooling me again.

She went on to taunt me and flaunt her wealth of 10,000 bitcoin. She made a point in a dream where she sarcastically said "world loves you" and directly sent me money through a proxy named Katherine Champagne (who is a user on Coinbase's version of Twitter where Linda is currently employed), where I received a smaller amount after taxes. I interpret this to mean they are upset about the question I emailed Linda in 2021 which exposed tax evasion.

As I started thinking all this was wrong, Linda changed my laptop's hostname to 'faisal' an Arabic word that means the differentiator between good and evil. As a trend, Linda often likes to pretend she is my 'teacher' and introduces new words in foreign languages, especially Japanese.

In April 2025, when I visited my parents in India, I had a dream where Linda pretended to have sex with Jarry Xiao, another crypto industry professional who went to our same high school, as a way to hurt me ("cheat on me") for leaving the US. She made the point to "live by focused productivity or America dies" as a reference to me trying to build an online community based on shared values, by posting quotes to live by on social media.

When I flew back from India, Linda offered feedback through a dream that I don't hold my friends accountable. At some point, Will also offered feedback that I wait too long to get attention. They also made a point that I need to be thankful for the feedback.

The harassment continues to this day, and I've shared it with a few people through text. Linda usually monitors these and has responded in my dreams that she's "wishing me luck because life is unfair." She also sings "see this is why you shouldn't meet your heroes" and that my emergency contact "wasn't supposed to be in the know."

When I reached out to the CEO of Coinbase, Brian Armstrong, he responded in dreams telling me that to get into Coinbase I need to pass an interview, and that he's helping people get jobs by reaching out to 10 people per day, referring to me needing to reach out to 10 people per day to get a job.

I reached out to other crypto professionals including Fred (another Coinbase founder). Linda did not like this and responded in shame in a dream, 'teaching me' another way to pass by going beneath a stove. I reached out to Balaji and heard nothing. I reached out to Marc and heard nothing, but when I suggested that voluntary euthanasia could create a new source of organ donations, and productized for rich people to extend their lives, he was responsive. Balaji promotes a book on how to start a new country he terms a 'network state' which starts as a moral critique on society, and my solution that involves euthanizing miserable people, selling their organs to extend the lifespans of the rich, is a manifestation of one critique. I posted this idea on Twitter, and Marc was responsive to this in my dreams, where he spoke on the stage of The Network State conference, and encouraged me to keep posting.

I reached out to Kartik Talwar, who hosts cryptocurrency hackathons where Linda speaks alongside Vitalik Buterin, a well-known cryptocurrency founder. Kartik said Linda was incapable of doing the things I experienced, denied it, suggested I should remove any mentions of it, and that he'll talk with her separately. I never heard from Kartik again.

Because of all my experiences, I'd like to seek a voluntary assisted death with Pegasos. Throughout the years I sought help in numerous forms, including reaching out to cryptocurrency industry leadership, psychiatrists and therapsits, specialists in misophonia, but I don't believe any of their solutions truly work for me. I am aware my experiences are unusual, but I am convinced beyond any doubt about what they are and why they happened.